


Give The Dog A Boner

by alcumia



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Anal Sex, F/M, Incest, Knotting, Reverse Het, Rose Lalonde/Dave Strider (mentioned), Sibling Incest, Trans Female Character, a less shitty way of saying jade has a dick
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-13
Updated: 2016-04-13
Packaged: 2018-06-01 23:43:22
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,267
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6541606
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alcumia/pseuds/alcumia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jade is feeling down on the battleship, and John offers to help in any way he can. This wasn't quite the way he expected. (Look at the tags, okay?)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Give The Dog A Boner

Jade had been particularly distracted as of late, John noticed. She’d been in a bit of a funk ever since Davesprite broke up with her, of course, but she only seemed to be getting worse. He wished there was something he could do to help, and when he walked in on Jade sitting alone by herself, quietly whining with her hands crossed over her lap, he was determined to do something about it.

“Hey, Jade,” he said, and Jade jumped at the sound of his voice. “What’s wrong?”

“Oh! Um, nothing’s wrong, John,” Jade answered, looking back in his general direction, but trying to avoid eye contact.

He wasn’t convinced. “Jade, you’re sitting on a couch by yourself, and you look like you’re about to cry.” He walked up around the couch, flopping onto the seat on the right side as she sat on the left.

Jade rubbed her back nervously. “I wasn’t going to cry, I just...” She bit her lip, unsure of how to continue. “I’m just distracted, I guess.”

John sighed. “Look, Jade, I know things on this ship are kinda crappy right now,” he admitted, looking over at her as she continued avoiding his gaze, “but if there’s anything, and I mean _anything_  I can do to help, just ask.”

She looked down at the floor for a moment. “Anything?”

“Anything,” he assured her.

“Well...” She continued to stare down as she went on. “There was something Davesprite and I used to do together, and ever since we broke up, I haven’t done it at all.”

John bolted up in his seat. “Well, I can do it with you!” He made a sudden choking noise as realized what he’d just said. “I mean, we can do it together! I mean... you know what I mean!”

Jade giggled. “Yes, John. But would you really? I mean... it’s kind of weird...”

“Jade, I’m your brother,” John stated. “Nothing is too weird. I promise!”

“Well... okay.” A smile formed on her lips, and John smiled too as he saw it. Jade rose from the couch, turning over to him. “Can you come to my room later? We can do everything there.”

John nodded. “Of course!”

“Great!” Jade said, and she began to walk out of the room.

“Hey Jade, wait!” She stopped and turned to him, and he looked at her curiously. “Just... what are we doing, anyway?”

Jade looked away, her cheeks burning red. “It’s... too embarrassing to say. I’ll just explain everything later, okay?”

John looked vaguely unsatisfied with that, but he shrugged it off. “Well, okay.” Jade smiled and exited the room, and he was left to contemplate just what it is she wanted. It was probably just something silly, like watching Squiddles or engaging in unironic furry roleplaying. Whatever it was, he was just happy he could help his sister out.

* * *

John stood on his hands and knees on Jade’s bed, completely naked. Jade was on her knees behind him, her only clothing being a black Space-adorned thong, impressively stretched over an unmistakable twelve-inch bulge. She slid her package between John’s butt cheeks, smooth and damp with precum, and John shuddered at the strange feeling. “Jade... I think this might be too weird.”

“But Joooohn, you _promised_ ,” Jade reminded him, rubbing her hands over his ass as she frotted against him. “You still want to help me, don’t you?”

“Well, yeah, but...” She suddenly firmly squeezed his butt, and he let out a surprised yelp. “You didn’t tell me that helping you meant getting pounded in the butt! I mean... Jade, we’re brother and sister!”

Jade laughed. “So what? You’re afraid what will happen if I get you butt pregnant?”

John couldn’t help but laugh at that, but he quickly shook himself out of it. “No! Of course not!” Jade seemed happy with that, stretching the thong out over her cock to fully expose it, and John yelped as the massive thing slapped between his cheeks.

“Then what’s your problem with it?” she asked, slowly sliding her bulge between his buttocks, her hard shaft and heavy balls coating them with precum.

“Jade, there’s this thing in society...”

“There _is_  no society,” Jade cut him off. “I said, what’s _your_  problem with it?”

John hesitated for a moment, trembling as Jade’s dick slid up and down the cleft of his ass. “Well... I don’t think I can do... this. It’ll hurt too much. I mean, how big is that thing?”

“Twelve inches.”

“Seriously?!” To answer his question, Jade slid back, pushing her fully erect member between John’s legs to rub against his own. She definitely had more than a few inches on him. “Oh god...”

Jade stood still for a moment, lifting a hand up to scratch her chin. “Well... I could always put it in your mouth,” she offered.

“That’s not any better!” he quickly replied.

“Okay, okay...” She slid a finger down his bare crack, gently pressing the tip against his anus, and she had an idea. “Okay, how about I start with my fingers? Just to make sure you can handle it. I’ll use lube, of course!”

John bit his lip. “Well... we can try it, I guess. But if I hate it, you have to stop, okay?”

The dog-eared girl grinned, lifting her left hand and materializing a bottle of clear liquid in a flash of green light. “Sure. And if you love it, you can just beg for more.” John scoffed, but Jade shut him up with a dollop of lube dripped directly onto his asshole. She worked the middle finger of her right hand against him, making him shudder as she twirled the tip in circles around his ring. After a few more seconds, she gently pushed her finger against his pucker, and it slipped in, making John grunt. It didn’t feel good, really, but it wasn’t uncomfortable, either. He bit his lip as Jade prodded deeper, her middle finger now a few inches inside of him.

“How is it?” Jade asked.

John shrugged. “It’s okay, I guess?”

She frowned. “Can I add another finger?”

“Sure, why not?”

With a grin, Jade slipped her index finger into his ass, and he shivered a bit at the added sensation. She was spreading her fingers subtly as she thrust her hand into him, and John groaned as her fingertips gently stretched the walls of his colon. She was getting deeper as well, and soon he felt her pressing against something hard deep inside him, sending a strange feeling through his body. “Ah!”

“There we go,” Jade said with a grin. “Did that feel good?”

“I don’t kn _nnggghhh_!” Before John could answer, Jade continued pressing against the hard spot in his rectum, and he squirmed beneath her.

Jade chuckled. “What was that, John? Tell me what you want.”

John’s breathing had become irregular, Jade’s fingers filling him with an oddly pleasant feeling, and he was keenly aware of his cock hardening desperately beneath him. “More...”

“Good boy.” She slipped her ring finger into his anus, her three digits stretching his asshole further, while her pinky brushed against his entrance, and he moaned loudly, melting in her grasp. Spurred on by his noises, Jade began to rock her hips against him, her twelve inch cock sliding against his own erect member.

“M... more...” John moaned.

Jade smiled. “If I give you any more, I’m going to start fisting you.” Now that she mentioned it, she kind of _wanted_  to fist him, but that would _definitely_  be too much for him. “Or did you want my cock?”

John bit his lip. “...Yeah.”

“Great!” She immediately pulled her fingers out, and John suddenly felt painfully empty. Jade pulled her dick out from beneath John and grabbed it in her right hand, then took the lube in her left hand and poured a generous helping of it onto her shaft. She stroked it over her length, letting it mix with her precum, then levelled the tip right against John’s pucker. “Get ready...” With that warning, she thrust forward, and John cried out loudly as Jade’s cock plunged into his asshole.

Jade had prepared him well--with only a single thrust, she was already halfway inside him, but he wasn’t expecting her to be so thick. “Holy shit...”

“Fuck, you’re good,” the long-haired girl muttered appreciatively, continuing to pound John’s ass at a brisk pace. “You’re tighter than Davesprite ever was.”

John growled at the comparison, but his disapproval was drowned out by the loud moans Jade was drawing out of him. Her dick slammed deeper and deeper into his rectum, and he curled his toes with every excruciating inch, feeling his cock getting painfully hard. “You two really... hngh... did this?”

“Yep! He loved it at first, but eventually he couldn’t keep up.” Jade slowed her movements a bit, pulling out of John a bit, then laying into him with deeper thrusts, and he moaned loudly at the change. “But you’re God Tier, just like me. So you should be able to handle me for a good, long while...”

With that, she slammed the full length of her twelve-inch shaft into John’s asshole, and he groaned as Jade’s balls slapped against him, his cushy cheeks jiggling with each thrust. His own cock was still rock hard, and it dribbled precum onto the bed as it bobbed up and down. “Oh god...” he muttered through gritted teeth.

Jade giggled, bending down to press her heavy breasts against John’s back as she continued rutting against him. “Don’t worry, John, I won’t ride you _that_  hard,” she assured him as she milked his prostate with the tip of her cock. “And if it gets to be too much, you can switch off with Davesprite. Oh, and you could still join in! He’s great at oral, you know.”

An image flashed into John’s mind, Davesprite’s lips around his cock as Jade plowed the sprite from behind, and he moaned at the thought of it. And then he pictured the opposite situation, Davesprite’s glowing orange dick thrusting into his own mouth while his sister fucked him just like she was now, and he couldn’t take any more. He cried out loudly as his orgasm hit, his throbbing cock pulsing beneath him as it fired a few substantial spurts of semen into the bedsheets.

As his orgasm died down, Jade let out a low moan, continuing to pound her throbbing cock into John’s tight asshole. “It’s good, isn’t it? I’m almost there too...” John groaned as she continued to slam his prostate, more and more precum leaking into his bowels, and he could swear that Jade’s shaft getting bigger inside of him. He felt his anus burning like fire, and he cried out in pain as his suspicions were confirmed, the base of Jade’s cock swelling inside of him and wedging fully in his rectum.

“Jade!” John yelled breathlessly, panting as Jade milked a weak stream of cum from his cock as she rapidly hammered his prostate with shallow thrusts. “What is this?!”

“It’s my knot, John,” Jade answered, her breath low and breathy, rutting against her brother at a frantic pace. “I’m almost done...” Jade’s breath was hot on his neck, her large breasts pressed firmly against his back, his ass jiggling as her firm hips hammered against it, and even as his asshole seared with pain, John found himself moaning in pleasure as Jade fucked his well-lubed hole. Finally, she reached her climax, whining loudly as her cock exploded inside John’s ass, and John yelled in surprise as Jade filled him with an enormous load of thick white fluids. He felt his rectum stretching to fit the sheer volume of her release, the excess flowing up into his colon, and he groaned at the sensation, feeling his own dick firing a few more weak shots of cum into the bed.

John breathed heavily as Jade’s climax finally died down. Her cock was still swollen inside of him, and not a drop had escaped from his stretched out asshole, Jade’s release completely sealed inside of him. She leaned against him, chest pressed into his back as she caught her own breath. “That was _awesome_ ,” she muttered into his ear. “Thank you for helping me, John.”

“Yeah...” he panted. It _was_  awesome, though he couldn’t bring himself to admit it. He wiggled his hips a bit, grunting as he tested just how firmly Jade was stuck in him. “How long are we gonna be like this?”

“Ten or fifteen minutes, probably,” Jade admitted, and John groaned at the estimate. “But hey! That just gives us some brother-sister bonding time!”

John let out an uncomfortable laugh. “Somehow, I don’t think Rose and Dave have done any ‘bonding’ quite like this.”

Jade grinned. “I wouldn’t be so sure, John...” With that, she pulled him over on his side, cuddling against him on the bed, not hearing another word of protest.

* * *

“This is so wrong,” Dave muttered through gritted teeth, groaning as Rose’s cock slammed into his asshole.

“Maybe so,” Rose replied, “but we both want it, so what difference does it make?”

She ran her hands over Dave’s bare back, and he pressed the side of his head against the pillow, moaning as the tip of Rose’s dick pressed against his prostate. “Well... at least John and Jade are above this kind of thing.”

Rose slowed her thrusts as she considered the idea. There was a _possibility_ , of course, but it was extremely remote, so she felt reasonably assured in her conclusion. “Of course they are, Dave. Of course they are.”

**Author's Note:**

> This one has been sitting in my drafts for a while, and I'm anxious about 4/13, so I decided to finish it off before then. There a few awesome fics about John and Jade doing this kind of thing already, so I decided to toss my own contribution into the ring. Hope you like it! And if you're into this sort of thing, check out my blog at http://alcumia.tumblr.com/. Thanks for reading!


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